astrangestorm: (aiba)
astrangerenters ([personal profile] astrangestorm) wrote2009-11-18 04:12 pm

The SHO Diaries

Title: The SHO Diaries
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Aiba Masaki, Sakurai Sho
Summary: Mad scientist Aiba creates himself a companion
Notes/Warnings: For the JE Crackfic Anonymeme, Sept 09



SHO Diary, Day One

Creation of Super Human Object (hereafter SHO) completed! SHO opened his eyes and blinked – asked where he could get a newspaper. Artificial intelligence is better than estimates projected!!! Celebrated with curry and a few hours of Animal Planet.

SHO Diary, Day Two

SHO displaying remarkable intelligence. Was charged and ready before I came down for breakfast – found him reading the newspaper and summarizing important headlines to be repeated back to me so I don’t have to watch the news. Took SHO shopping – clothing choice judgment may need to be tweaked, but otherwise had a great outing. Better than real friends, that’s for sure.

SHO Diary, Day Three

Brought bongo drums downstairs to practice for upcoming Mad Science Poetry Slam. Turns out SHO’s hip-hop lyric composition programming still needs work – may have to postpone entry into slam since he repeats “S.H.O.” about ten times before getting to actual rap. Sports day tomorrow!!

SHO Diary, Day Four

Athletics programming not working at all. Not sure what went wrong – design specifications included significant muscle allowances. Tried to play basketball and SHO could barely dribble. SHO then twisted ankle and had to rewire leg joints again.

SHO Diary, Day Five

SHO making incredibly strange faces. Claims I am not providing him with enough intellectual pursuits. Forced SHO to accompany me to Sayonara Cliff to test jumping capabilities and capacity of platinum joints to absorb impact. SHO refused to jump, claiming he was scared. May need to rewire personality chip entirely.

SHO Diary, Day Six

Attempt at another sports day. Short circuited his entire spinal column during yoga. Getting more and more grouchy about following orders – currently tearing hair out wondering where I went wrong with SHO. Out of curry – hate life.

SHO Diary, Day Seven

SHO deactivated. Scrapping everything but knowledge chips – need someone more malleable and who can dance with me. Starting Original Human Number One (hereafter OHNO) tomorrow. Bought curry!


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